Why people date other marrieds?
Chat about a loaded subject that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on since millennium. Extramarital relationships can be burdened with evils, cause heartache, and other problems. In addition you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty matter, funds, age dissimilarity, religious education, remorse, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, discreet wives dating.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are men seeking an affair. I think generally though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us escape the real world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can switch the wish on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos people has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your family or anybody else? You would need to lessen the risk you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest cluster, gigantic actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they are comfy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to think about. Your finances are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the man is sexually neglecting his lady for a multitude of reasons. As a man I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be caring is disappeared, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply grown apart, our general interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.